Weird Medieval Medicine: Bizarre Cures from the Middle Ages You Won’t Believe
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When you think of medieval medicine, you might imagine ancient herbs or wise healers working their craft — but the reality was much weirder (and frankly, much more terrifying). The Middle Ages were full of bizarre medical practices that seem downright absurd today… but back then? Doctors truly said all of this with their whole chest.
Here are some of the strangest medieval cures and treatments that people actually tried — because ✨vibes over science✨.
1️⃣ Bloodletting for… Everything 🩸
Feeling under the weather? In medieval Europe, there was one go-to solution for nearly any ailment: bleed the patient.
Headache? Bloodletting.
Fever? Bloodletting.
Bad vibes? More bloodletting.
Doctors believed that draining your blood could rebalance your four humours (blood, phlegm, black bile, and yellow bile) — the key to health, apparently. Whether it was via leeches or a sharp blade, this gruesome remedy was standard practice for centuries.
👉 We’ll take modern medicine, thanks.
2️⃣ Worm Wine 🐛🍷
“Not feeling great? Just sip some wine infused with earthworms.”
Yes, really — worm wine was an actual medieval remedy. Earthworms were thought to have healing properties, and steeping them in wine was believed to create a potent cure-all.
We’re not saying it worked, but hey… it probably paired well with trauma and a touch of plague.
3️⃣ Dead Mouse Poultices 🐀
If you lived in medieval times and had a toothache, you might have been told to split a mouse in half and slap it on your gums.
This was genuine medieval dentistry: no anaesthetic, no sterile tools… just half a mouse pressed to your face.
We can’t imagine it did much for tooth pain, but it definitely sounds cursed.
4️⃣ Crushed Emerald Powder 💎
Nothing screams "rich people self-sabotaging" quite like this remedy: ingesting crushed emeralds to treat the plague.
Emeralds were considered precious, magical stones — so naturally, medieval elites ground them into powder and drank them, believing they could heal deadly diseases.
In reality? They were just poisoning themselves expensively.
5️⃣ Trepanation (Brain Hole Club) 🧠🔨
Got a headache? Feeling mentally unwell? Medieval doctors sometimes recommended trepanation: drilling a hole in your skull to “let the bad spirits out.”
No anaesthetic. No antibiotics. Just vibes, a chisel, and a patient probably regretting their life choices.
The Drama Was Unmatched
Medieval medicine was a fascinating mix of ancient superstition, limited knowledge, and creative (if horrifying) experimentation.
Today, we may laugh at these bizarre medieval medical practices — but for people of the Middle Ages, this was state-of-the-art healthcare.
✨ Medicine’s come a long way. But let’s be honest… the drama was unmatched.
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